Lord Jesus
I’ve been so disgusting
Trusting in my own trust and
Hiding sin
Behind closed doors and
Behind closed eyes
A world of unrestrained violence abides within
a multitude of lust,
plus
unforgive-ness, bitterness
festers inside
How dare I
hold contempt for a sister you died for
and I
am swollen with pride
wishing to cry and mourn over my idolatry but
I’m too busy
staring at all my glory
and my kingdom, my majesty
I’m sounding like Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 4
so filled with empty wind
forgetting You’re the Sovereign Master I was crafted for
All this laughter and fun You see past as a mirage
hiding this dry soul
You’re able to humble me
and I know ways You’ve done so before:
letting me fall on my face
sinning grievously while trying to minister
these
works I do,
the papers, the poetry, the teaching
You know what is done in true
faith that aims to glorify You
and when I’m reminded of that
my heart trembles
but my flesh rages, rumbles, thrashes, trying to capture
as much hidden sin as I can
Oh God deliver me,
cuz I can’t
please, I’m in the miry pit
iniquities overwhelm me
sins more than hair on my head
Oh, the world and its lust seem so enticing
I can’t seem to see past them
Again, again I’m falling for it
fantasies of revenge, sex,
the reason the Pharisees could know who you were but couldn’t believe you:
the praise of man
Those who chase after other gods will find that all they relied upon
brought them grief and sorrow
made them hollow
made them look like them:
unable to speak
unable to hear, see, breathe,
unable to be,
exist with true purpose and fulfillment
I’m filled with excuses
Jesus, please remove this
cloud of doubt that You’ve made me free from sin
this unbelief that You’re immeasurably worth it
living worship
daily praying, studying your Word and
obeying
a lie is in my hand and only Your Spirit has revealed it
These deceitful lusts have entangled me
and are making me loveless
I’m hit!
Arrow’s on fire and it has stricken my heart!
I am on fire! Help me!
Flaming with misdirected passion
“Well, thank God you’re convicted.”
Yes, but God please bring repentance,
I want to experience Your salvation
save this wretch and
bring me joy in You again,
Yes, joy in You again.